Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wii Not So Fit

So, here we are, one week since the start of my first "resolutibility", and I must say that I have learned some very valuable lessons that I would like to share with you...

First, in no way should you believe that riding an imaginary bike, while stepping on the Wii Balance Board, looks or feels anything like riding a real bike. However, when that yappy little virtual dog starts chasing you, chances are you will instinctively try to kick him out of the way with your foot, throw off your balance, and inevitably injure your pride as your spouse stands there pointing and laughing.*

Second, the commentary that comes from your "personal trainer" will begin to sound like a broken record, and you will be tempted to throw the Wiimote at the screen in protest as they scold you for your "legs shaking a little". I would advise you not to do this, unless you want a new TV, in which case...hurl that sucker! Instead, I would suggest muting the TV, and coming up with your own dialogue to replace the comments you would normally hear. For example, you could replace "train every day to help to improve your posture" with "Your posture SUCKS! I'd better see you in here tomorrow or you know I'll be throwing some veiled insults in the form of compliments at you the next day, loser!" What? Too harsh? Okay, how about you could replace "Train every day to tone and strengthen your abs" with "Is that all you got? My grandmother has better ab strength than you!" Maybe I'm the only one that this would amuse...ignore me.

Third, while playing any and all of the balance games, you will most likely begin to wonder if the apple juice you had earlier in the day had gone bad when you notice that it feels strangely like you are failing a sobriety test. Don't worry, you're most likely not tipsy, you just really are THAT uncoordinated.

Tune in next week as I share my adventures and epiphanies about eating healthy in conjunction with exercise. It'll leave you craving more...quite literally.

*No virtual dogs were actually harmed in our feeble attempts to exercise, nor are any real dogs harmed when we exercise in the real world, because we're really more of the "embarass yourself in the comfort of your own home" kind of athletes.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

ROFL!!! I hate Wii Fit. But mine stems more from the fact that the moment I stepped on the board, my character bloated out like a balloon... Seriously? Like I need a mental image of how fat my cartoon self is as well?