Thursday, February 24, 2011

Bypass, and Other "B" Words

I should have known better than to make an actual list of blog posts I wanted to get done.  What happened immediately after making an official "list"?


Lots and lots of barfing. 

I can't even keep track of all the sanitary loads I did over the last week as Bug transformed into Linda Blair, and projectile vomited over anything and everything within a 3 foot radius. 

He's better now, but last night Bubble thought it looked like fun, and could tell that I was bored, so he joined in the puking party. 

Needless to say, blogging has been the furthest thing from my mind.

To top it all off, my dad has been very sick lately.  In and out of the hospital regularly for the past year.  It was finally decided that the only way to improve his quality of life was for him to have bypass surgery.

On Tuesday, he underwent a double bypass surgery, and as someone who knows what's it's like to have their chest "cracked", I have volunteered to go help him once he gets out of the hospital. 

To prepare for a week long trip away from Roon and the kids, I have been working like a crazy person to get the house in pristine condition before I leave.  Partly, because I don't want Roon to have to stress about cleaning on top of working and childing rearing, but it's also for selfish reasons.
Truth be told, I don't want to come home to a HUGE mess and lose all my momentum. 

Bottom line, I hope y'all forgive me for not being around much for the next couple of weeks.  I still love ya.  I promise...

Friday, February 18, 2011

Truth No. 2...The Unfriendly Skies

Alternately titled:  Why I will NEVER fly United Airlines again!

I'm continuing on with my revelations of what was fact, and what was fiction from WEDNESDAY, and linking up with Mamarazzi and Glamazon for their Friday Confessional.


I confess...I was kicked off a plane for being a threat to security.

It's true.  I was.
This may be a long one.  I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

My parents are divorced.  By the time I was 16, my Dad had moved to California (we lived in Ohio), and so began the twice a year vacations to spend time with him.

My sister, Boogs, and I had never flown before, but lucky for us our dad was in Chicago on business, so we only had to make it from Cleveland to Chicago and he would meet us there. We'd continue on to LA the next day.

The 45 minute flight went smoothly.  Boogs and I had entertainment, and it was a very short flight, so it was no big deal.

We spent the night in Chicago, ate some "seriously icky" pizza, and stayed in a hotel that had historic significance, as my sister found out, and can recite to this day.

The next day, we overslept, and made it to the airport a little later than we had planned.  As is always the way, when you are short on time, EVERYTHING goes wrong.  From checking luggage, to trying to rearrange our seats so we could sit together, every task was met with resistance. 

By the time we reached the gate, my Dad was NOT in a good mood.  We were the only people at the gate, as everyone else had already boarded.  We walked over to the desk at the gate to check in, asked if we were all set, and after being answered in the affirmative, we walked the 15 feet to the gate, and met the stewardess from Hell. 

I'm not sure what got her underroos in a bunch that day, but she was on a serious power trip.  She took one look at our boarding passes and said with a sneer "you need to get those stamped before you can get on the plane."

My Dad motions to the desk, and asks if that is really necessary, because we were JUST over there. 
She confirmed that it was necessary, and also that we could not leave our carry ons by the gate because they would be considered "unattended". 
We walked over, got our stamps, and returned to the stewardess.
"Have a nice flight", she said smugly.

Did I mention my dad was already in a bad mood, BEFORE we met this woman?  Her attitude pushed him over the edge.

**Here is where my Dad's story, and mine and Boog's stories differ**

According to my Dad, he tried to lighten the mood, and set us at ease by turning around to the stewardess on our way down the tunnel, and saying "Kiss my grits", in a sing-songy voice.

We remember it differently.

What REALLY happened on the way down the tunnel, was that my dad turned around with angry eyes, and in a less than happy tone and said "Kiss my a$$, Lady!"

Less than 5 minutes after boarding the plane, air marshalls came to escort us off the plane, because the stewardess felt threatened, and feared for her safety.  The pilot refused to take off until all 3 of us were off the plane.

As we were exiting the plane, I walked past a passenger who I can only assume had also had a negative experience that day.  It's been a while, but he said something along the lines of..."Wow!  Kicking teenage girls off a plane?!  Friendly Skies, my a$$!"

I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel better...

If you have a confession, head on over and link it up!  It is true what they say...confession IS good for the soul.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Truth No. 1. When Art is NOT Your Forte...

Yesterday, I posted 6 things.  5 that were true, and 1 that was not true. 

Over the next few days, I will enlighten you all as to which ones were true, and the stories behind them.

Truth #1:  I once got in trouble for drawing a pornagraphic picture.

Hanging my head in shame now.

It was the 1992-1993 school year, and I was in 6th grade.  (yeah, yeah, make jokes about how young I am later, okay?)
To say that I was not good at art would have been a gross understatement. 

I HATED art class. 

I blame my mom, really.  The only class she ever got a D in was art, and I inherited her talent, or lack thereof. 

Despite the fact that I hated art class, I did like to doodle.  So, on occasion I would doodle little pictures in my notebook, and that was that.  Somehow, this ended up getting me in trouble TWICE in one year. 

The first incident occured when I doodled a cute little pig, and showed it to my friend, Missy*.  She took it, wrote a classmate's name on it, with an arrow pointing to the pig, signed our names to it, and then proceeded to hand deliver it to a heavy set girl in our class.  And I was mortified.

And I had to apologize.

Later that year, I doodled a whole scene of kids playing on a playground.  There was a boy, off to the side of the picture, waving to all of the kids playing in the distance.

Did I mention I'm seriously bad at art?

When Kip*, a boy in my class, walked by, and asked if he could have my picture, I was flattered!  I didn't understand WHY he would want it, but hey...who was I to judge?  Somebody liked my art!  Step aside, {insert some artist here}...Sami had arrived!

The wind was quickly let out of my sails when my teacher came over to me during recess to "discuss" my drawing. 

Apparently, a strategically placed "hand" can be perceived as something MUCH different in a mind that resides in the gutter. 

Instead of my perfectly innocent "Hi!  How ya doin'?!", it was viewed as a " you doin?" (Think Joey, from Friends).  And my doodled guy was VERY happy to see someone...

And I had to sit out the rest of recess.

But at least my explanation kept me from having to see a therapist...

Thanks a lot, Kip*!

*Names were NOT changed to protect the innocent.  Am I bitter?  I think so...

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Lie Like a Rug

So, I've seen a lot of you participating in various Memes lately, all centered around the same general premise.  To lie.

Now, I have not done very well at guessing everyone's lies thus far, and I have never been known to lie well, but I was still super excited to participate.

But nobody would tag me!  Yeah, that's right.  Ya'll know who you are...

Luckily, Vivienne took pity on me, and I was finally tagged!  YAY for me!

So here are my 5 truths and a lie.  Try to see if you can figure out which one is NOT true.
  1. As a "tween" I once peed my pants in public.
  2. After graduating high school, I went to a party.  At said party, I drank what I THOUGHT was only orange juice.  Turns out, it was actually a "screwdriver". 
  3. I was kicked off a plane for being a threat to security.
  4. I have a hicky on my neck.
  5. I started writing a mystery series with a friend in 6th grade, and have seriously considered picking it back up.
  6. I once got in trouble for drawing a pornographic picture. 
Which one is the lie???  Leave your guess in the comments.  I'll reveal the answers throughout the rest of the week.

Thanks, Viv!  This was fun!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Pink Paradise!


I wish I could say that this post is so late because the snow delayed my package, or because I had some fabulous excuse, but I can't.  Basically, I misplaced my camera.  Simple as that. 

I was partnered with the FABULOUS Leah, from "The Dog's a Boy Too", and I have loved getting to know her and her sweet little gentlemen.  Seriously, I just want to squish Benji's chubby cheeks, so it's too bad she lives all the way in Florida.


My package arrived LAST Monday!  I could hardly wait to dive into all the pink awesomeness!

First, a glimpse of what it looked like in the box:

Make a note of the green and pink things off to the left hand side of the box.  They were paper hearts filled with M&M's for the kids, and they were commandeered and destroyed seconds after this picture was taken. 
So what did I get???

Well, I'm glad you asked!

2 pink boas (that I am currently hiding from Sissy and Boo.  I imagine a flury of feathers would be inevitable with those two.)
A notepad
A candle (Which smells SOOOO GOOD)
Some chocolate (Yes, the bag is open...can you blame me?!)
Individual juice packets (Roon loves these things, so I may have to hide them until I can try them first)
A cute frame (Which I JUST realized, you can't see the cutest adorable pink flower that will make this frame PERFECT for a picture of me and my little ladies!)
Some seasonal kitchen towels
Pedicure set and nail polish
A big "C" (No, it's not pink, but she wanted it to match my decor.  I know exactly where to put it too!)
And finally...PINK pancake mix!  Made these for the kids for Valentine's Day, and the girls loved them!  The boys, acted like they were made out of shards of glass, and refused the vile offerings. 

Boys are weird.

Thanks so much Leah!  I loved everything, especially making a new friend!

Also, thanks so much Mamarazzi for hosting yet another awesome swap!  Love ya, girl!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Remember Me?

I know, I know.  I've been missing for quite some time, and you all are just DYING to know what I've been up to. 
I'll keep it brief, I promise.

Last week was quite the week for weather around these parts.  My kids went to school on Monday, and then followed that up with a SIX day weekend.  Yes, SIX.  If anything were going to drive me to start drinking, 4 snowdays in a row would have done it. 

In addition to the kids having no school, Roon was also confined to the house due to icy roads.  This really isn't a HUGE deal, because he is lucky enough to be able to work from home.  However, this means that my precious laptop was commandeered for this purpose, leaving me with little to no computer time.  I currently have 199 unread posts in my Google Reader.  That makes me sick.

I am so close to "going postal" on the USPS.  Last Monday, I shipped off 2 packages containing the Quince Quote prizes for both December and January.  On Thursday, I received word that BOTH packages had been received COMPLETELY SHATTERED.  The packages were insured, so all is right with the world.  Once we sell our souls to the devil, and perform some sort of ritual sacrifice, we MIGHT be reimbursed for the things we can provide proof of value for. 

As if that weren't enough, on Saturday I shipped off my "PINKTASTIC" swap package to my amazing parter Leah.  Before doing so, I thoroughly wrapped a specially made glass pitcher in bubble wrap, just to make sure it arrived in one piece.

It didn't. 

Yesterday, I found out that the pitcher had also arrived at it's destination in several pieces.

Looks like I'll be using FedEx from now on.  Take that, USPS!

I'm sure there's more that has gone on around here, but I seem to have chosen to block it out.  I have several posts planned out in my head, so with any luck, I'll be out of my bloggy rut, and back up to normal speed soon.

*Fingers crossed*