Friday, February 18, 2011

Truth No. 2...The Unfriendly Skies

Alternately titled:  Why I will NEVER fly United Airlines again!

I'm continuing on with my revelations of what was fact, and what was fiction from WEDNESDAY, and linking up with Mamarazzi and Glamazon for their Friday Confessional.


I confess...I was kicked off a plane for being a threat to security.

It's true.  I was.
This may be a long one.  I'll try to keep it short and sweet.

My parents are divorced.  By the time I was 16, my Dad had moved to California (we lived in Ohio), and so began the twice a year vacations to spend time with him.

My sister, Boogs, and I had never flown before, but lucky for us our dad was in Chicago on business, so we only had to make it from Cleveland to Chicago and he would meet us there. We'd continue on to LA the next day.

The 45 minute flight went smoothly.  Boogs and I had entertainment, and it was a very short flight, so it was no big deal.

We spent the night in Chicago, ate some "seriously icky" pizza, and stayed in a hotel that had historic significance, as my sister found out, and can recite to this day.

The next day, we overslept, and made it to the airport a little later than we had planned.  As is always the way, when you are short on time, EVERYTHING goes wrong.  From checking luggage, to trying to rearrange our seats so we could sit together, every task was met with resistance. 

By the time we reached the gate, my Dad was NOT in a good mood.  We were the only people at the gate, as everyone else had already boarded.  We walked over to the desk at the gate to check in, asked if we were all set, and after being answered in the affirmative, we walked the 15 feet to the gate, and met the stewardess from Hell. 

I'm not sure what got her underroos in a bunch that day, but she was on a serious power trip.  She took one look at our boarding passes and said with a sneer "you need to get those stamped before you can get on the plane."

My Dad motions to the desk, and asks if that is really necessary, because we were JUST over there. 
She confirmed that it was necessary, and also that we could not leave our carry ons by the gate because they would be considered "unattended". 
We walked over, got our stamps, and returned to the stewardess.
"Have a nice flight", she said smugly.

Did I mention my dad was already in a bad mood, BEFORE we met this woman?  Her attitude pushed him over the edge.

**Here is where my Dad's story, and mine and Boog's stories differ**

According to my Dad, he tried to lighten the mood, and set us at ease by turning around to the stewardess on our way down the tunnel, and saying "Kiss my grits", in a sing-songy voice.

We remember it differently.

What REALLY happened on the way down the tunnel, was that my dad turned around with angry eyes, and in a less than happy tone and said "Kiss my a$$, Lady!"

Less than 5 minutes after boarding the plane, air marshalls came to escort us off the plane, because the stewardess felt threatened, and feared for her safety.  The pilot refused to take off until all 3 of us were off the plane.

As we were exiting the plane, I walked past a passenger who I can only assume had also had a negative experience that day.  It's been a while, but he said something along the lines of..."Wow!  Kicking teenage girls off a plane?!  Friendly Skies, my a$$!"

I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me feel better...

If you have a confession, head on over and link it up!  It is true what they say...confession IS good for the soul.


VandyJ said...

Friendly skies indeed. Hope your dad ripped the airline for that one.

Shawn said...

With todays flying standards being what they are you can't even think "kiss my ass lady" without being denied access to the plane. I think they have a way to tap into our heads and hear our thoughts!

You are such a little pornographic rebel!

Amy said...

I have not heard many good things about United. Check out this song. It is a true story. The guy wrote it because United did nothing to fix the problem. It was his way of getting back with them. Awesome.

Emmy said...

No way! That ladies undies did need some untwisting. I would have mortified if that was me.

MiMi said...

I'm sorry. I'm laughing so hard. That is hilarious!
I wonder if they have you on a "no fly" list with Al Queda people. LOL!

AndreaLeigh said...

geez! really? did your dad file a compliant about her? I would have!

Jen said...

That's seriously the best airline story I've heard in awhile!!

jennykate77 said...

That's CRAZY!!!

So, I'm assuming you eventually got a flight out??

Bart and Em said...

Hahaha, I can't stop laughing. I have never heard this story. Obviously there are a lot of stories I still need to hear.

Rachel Murphy said...

What a great story! Thanks for the laugh... Hope she got reported!

Impulsive Addict said...

That is AWESOME! I can't believe that happened. What a bitch~!

cbusch said...

I can so relate...but must admit I have never been kicked off :) myself.

Erinsgobragh said...

He he he he that is so great! I LOVE IT!

Xazmin said...

What a skanky ho bag! That's what I call girls who make me mad...regardless of their moral standards. Just call someone that sometime...promise it will make you feel better. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I can totally imagine this! I knew this one had to be true ... and the story was even better than I imagined!

Sandra said...

Ya, that last comment would have felt like vindication, for sure!