Friday, January 22, 2010

F Bomb Friday! Keepin' it clean...

The wonderful, witty, and wise (check out my alliteration! I amaze myself sometimes!) MiMi over at Living in France began this little weekly...I guess you'd call it a Meme, I'm not sure though...assignment called "F Bomb Friday". Last week, I did not link up because I'm a loser I couldn't think of anything that really would have warranted an F-Bomb to escape my lips. Once I read her post this week though, I had the idea, that F Bomb does not have to involve you actually dropping the bomb, but in my case is something that makes you want to say a variation such as "what the fraggle rock" (thanks Scrubs...you're my hero.) or make you want to fudge in your pants a little bit. So, I searched through the archives of my brain (There may be daddy long legs, and dead things, Mikey, dead things!) and came up with a few that I can use for this assignment for a few weeks anyway. Here it goes:
Rewind a little more than 7 years to when I was expecting my first child...Sissy. We had just bought a NEW car...and yes it was new, like 3 miles on the odometer when we drove it off the lot, which was dumb of us, and the new car smell made my morning sickness flare up, making it seem like an even dumber decision. Really has little to do with the story...
So, since my morning sickness was so bad, we had missed quite a bit of church there in the beginning. One Sunday morning, when I miraculously felt well enough to go for the first time in weeks, we walked out to our beautiful new car, and my husband opened the door for me to get in (awww what a gentleman!) and it was then that I noticed that the contents of our glove box was all over my seat. What the F R? So, I started to gather it up to put it back. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I seem to remember justifying it as a gust of wind, because that makes sense...wind blew upen a latched glove box through a closed window...nice one Sym! That was when my husband noticed...
Not only was his driver's side window smashed in, but so was the rear passenger window on his side, and the back window! Double "What the F R"?! We were not the only ones hit. Every car on our street had been vanalized, some worse than ours. What could possibly make this moment even dumber or more frustrating? WE WERE MOVING THE NEXT DAY!!! Triple "What the F R"?! Had the stupid thieves waited just one. more. day. we wouldn't have even had our beautiful car parked on that street! The real joke, I'm sure, was on them, because since our car was new, we didn't have much stuff in it. The stereo was security protected so that if they removed it, it would be worthless, and we basically had nothing in the trunk but the spare tire. HA HA! I think they decided to get back at us for our lack of acceptable loot, because you know what they did steal?

A bag of Werther's Original I had kept in the glove box to suck on after the aforementioned morning sickness flare ups! Really! What the F R, right?! I guess candy is just THAT important so some people... I hope you choke on it, ya felons! No, wait, that's not nice. I guess I should say that I hope it was worth all the trouble you went through to get it. The blessing in disguise? We had thought about packing up a load to take over to the new place the night before, but decided against it at the last second. Otherwise, our TV, computer, and who knows what else, would have been in the car for the would-be thieves. I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways...

Thanks for the great idea MiMi! Lots of fun!

4 comments:

MiMi said...

Seriously. I'm still getting over the fact that you called me wise. LOL!
What jerks! We had some break ins on all of our cars (i still lived at home and there were 4 of us with cars) once and they stole the stereos, cd's, etc.
I was all, "Haha! I can see they TRIED to get into my car but they couldn't!"
At that point I didn't realize that they got all of the other members of my family's cars. I felt bad about that.
Thank you for linking up!

Vivienne said...

Oh that is a drag! What jerks those guys were. Question: Did your insurance co replace your candy?
:)

Lori E said...

Okay if you are too nice to hope they choke on them then I will do it for you. No problem. They don't have to die or anything but a good choking fit until they actually pee themselves is perfectly acceptable.

CJ Sime said...

i hope you choke on them you felons. HAAHA that is CLASSIC! Love it.

Sorry about the jerks. I hate jerks. They are the worst!