Friday, March 19, 2010

More Flags...More Fun!

Just a quick reminder, that there is still time to enter my very first giveaway! I've decided to leave it open until Monday, the 22nd at 12 noon, EDT. If you want to give Jennifer, Heather, or CJ a run for their money, get entered! I promise, the prize package will be worthy of your time...

This year, we decided to attempt to do more fun things with the kids. More than just taking them to the splash park in the summer, or to the weekly football games once Sissy's cheer season starts. So, season passes to Six Flags over Texas, seemed like the perfect option. Plans were set into motion to break in the passes on Wednesday of Spring break. As with all good plans, Murphy's law reared it's ugly head, and 2/3 of us were plagued by exploding bowels 2 days before. Determined that this was not going to deter our plans, we trudged on. By Wednesday morning, it appeared that our trip was a no go. Roon and I began exchanging texts, he at work, me at home. Our plans were rearranged. 30 minutes after decisions were made, it appeared that everyone but Mom was over it. "It" being the bug that made everything on the inside, in a very big hurry to be on the outside. Not wanting to risk missing out on a spring break outing, I sucked it up, and took some imodium, and amusement parkin' we went!
The kids were ecstatic with the surprise, and everyone's stomachs, including mine, seemed to be in working order.
About 2 hours into play time, it became obvious that a potty break was in order. Boo must have been holding it for a while, because she went from completely dry, to pee leaking down her leg, in no time at all. Being in the little kid area of the park, we found a bathroom, and the boys and girls split up. I instructed Sissy to wait in line (because HELLO, there's always a line at the women's restroom...even for miniature women) while I went over to what I'm telling myself was a completely sanitary diaper changing station (because I didn't have my changing pad with me, and there wasn't a working paper towel dispenser) to change Boo's 5 pound diaper.
While waiting, Sissy apparently got confused as to who's turn it was, and inadvertantly cut in line. I listened as some grown women made snarky comments about her cutting in line, and how they supposed that some people just thought they were too good to wait.
WHAT THE HECK?! She's 7 people!
I hear it, and luckily, the door was broken, so she stuck her head out to ask me to hold it for her. I told her, while shooting a very dirty look in the direction of little miss 40 year old who couldn't hold it, to come stand by me, and I would help her once I was done with Boo. I then told little miss couldn't hold it to go ahead.
I got Boo changed, and we washed our hands. I took Boo out to Roon, and told him that Sissy and I still hadn't gone, so we would be back in a minute.
By this time, Sissy and I are both doing the potty dance, and regretting drinking so much soda.
We stand in line, Sissy tries to cut in front of another little girl, but I stopped her.
FINALLY our turn comes, and the stall door opens, and I get my first view of the promised land.
What the...! Holy miniature bathroom fixtures Batman!
Seriously guys...think toilet seat hitting me at shin level.
Granted, I'm 5' 8", so it could just be my giant stature that made it seem small, but it even looked short in comparison to my 7 year old.
Need a visual? Think, "Elf" and Will Farrell, sitting on the pot. I knew right away, this was NOT going to work for me. I held the door shut for Sissy, as I attempted to make small talk with those around me about the size of the accommodations. Ever get the feeling that someone just doesn't "get" you? Apparently standing in line in a teeny tiny tot bathroom, is not the appropriate time to make friends. Oh well...
Based on what I could tell from the outside, Sissy's experience on the toilet was to be expected. Making good friends with her knees as she sat.
When my turn came, I just admitted defeat.
There are very few times a woman should be caught in that position with her pants down, and one of those, is childbirth. No. Thank. You.
I took Sissy out to Roon, and announced that I still had to pee. Roon seemed confused, until I stated that I was not a contortionist, by any stretch of the imagination, and I was going to go find a toilet more suited to my adult physique. This is where I envy men, and their ability to play target practice. I bet the size of the toilet didn't deter him at all.
I finally did find a bathroom, right behind a Cold Stone Creamery stand. Mmmm Cold Stone. Cookie Doughn't you want some...
No, I didn't stop to get ice cream. But I should have! As far as I can tell, I earned it just thinking about the physical exertion necessary for such a task.
Needless to say, I'm glad the Immodium worked.

Now, I've told you mine, so if you want to hear the hilarity that happened to others, go visit MiMi, tell your story, and link up. I cannot be the only one who has these kinds of things happen to them regularly!


Emmy said...

Glad you all survived the trip :)
I can totally picture the awkwardness of trying to be kind and polite and starting a conversation, I do things like that all of the time. :)

Macey said...

So it sounds like those women were in the tot bathroom AND were NOT wearing their big girl panties. Snarky people suck. I'm super short so I like short potties. But my butt is huge, so it's a 50/50 thing.

Mamarazzi said...

wow being snarky to a 7 year old? CRAZY!! the Elf image had me rolling...too funny!

i just found out that we are paired up for shortmama's Spring Swap. i am so excited i HOST swaps all the time so i am looking forward to all of the fun without any of the work.

i haven't updated my blog for a bit..but i am still around and TOTALLY ready for some Spring Swapping Goodness!!

D said...

Yeah, myy nephew's 8 and sometimes I regret teaching him to talk! The fact I taught him the word,"Duh!" and the phrase,"Yeah right!" is something I regret profoundly!