Monday, May 24, 2010

Planned Parenthood.

I originally typed up this post in hopes of it being a "Stick your foot in your mouth Monday" post, but since I am super busy today, I'll go ahead and post it anyway.  Of course I have plenty of these moments, because my mouth has no off button.  

Some people are planners, and some people aren't when it comes to family growth.  Roon and I never really planned how many children to have, or when to have them, but it just so happened to work out that by each child's first birthday, we were pregnant with another one.  All of these were planned, except Boo.   The positive side, is that we ended up with a child in each season of the year.  (Sissy-winter, Bubble-summer, Bug-spring, Boo-fall)
In many instances, the choice is made for very specific reasons.  If you're a teacher, you may opt to have your babies all around the same time, because then you can take your maternity leave, and then have the entire summer to bond with your baby.  I have a friend whose family lives on a farm.  She actually opts to be VERY pregnant in the heat of summer, because it's more convenient for their schedule to have a baby in the fall. 

My Mother In Law was no such person.  She did have Roon and his brothers all around the same time of year, but it was not necessarily her choice. 

One day, I attended a play group held at a splash park.  A lot of new women had moved into the area, so I was using this opportunity to get to know some of them. 
One sweet girl sat down next to me, and the subject came up of how several of her children had celebrated birthdays in the past couple of weeks, with the rest to follow in the next couple of weeks.  Seeing as how it was July or August, I gaped at how she could stand to have so many kids in the hottest part of the summer.  I, after all, had one in the summer, and vowed to never do it again.  She said it wasn't that bad, leading me to believe that it was something that she had maybe chosen to do.  For some women, convenience wins over comfort, any day. 
I told her about my mother in law, and how she had 3 kids, all of whom were born between the very tail end of June, and the end of July.  I said "my mother in law jokes that the reason she had them when she did, was because she only ovulated once a year." and then I laughed, because it was always kind of a family joke. 
She then said "yup, that's my problem." 
Assuming that everyone is pathologically sarcastic like I am, I giggled at her joke. 
An uncomfortable silence followed.  She then looks at me in all seriousness and disgust, and says "No really, it is."  After which, she stood promptly and walked away. 
Granted, I meant no harm in what I said.  I didn't even mean to make it sound like a bad thing to have all your kids in the same month.  I was only trying to make lighthearted conversation, but inadvertantly made her feel like she had to share some very personal information with me.  No matter how you spin it, I looked like a jerk.  A big, fertile, insensitive, jerk.

Let's hope my uncontrollable mouth isn't genetic!


MiMi said...

Um. Hello? What are you supposed to say, I would have assumed she was joking too!

CJ Sime said...


at least you have the grace to recover from your foot being shoved down your throat enough to write about it.


WhisperingWriter said...

I have a problem with my mouth too. I either say something incredibly stupid or something incredibly inappropriate.

Myya said...

I'm a loser, I haven't been doing Stick Your Foot In Your Mouth Mondays... I got discouraged and gave up. My girls are close... one is 2 1/2 weeks before Christmas & the other 2 1/2 weeks after... both planned - what was I thinking??? The other is Sept 9... at least I gave myself a little more room there ha! I would have totally said the same thing as you & seriously who cares, wouldn't you think she would have a sense of humor about it. She is the jerk not you!!! :)

Anonymous said...

It is universal, if not genetic.
I agree, having had one child in July and sitting most days of the last month with my feet in a baby pool. If I had my druthers, with hindsight, all mine would have been born in spring.

Emmy said...

I have never heard of something like that so I would have assumed she was joking too. That is just weird, so don't feel bad.