Friday, April 2, 2010

F-Bomb Friday.

This "F-Bomb Friday" moment is brought to you by crotchety old women...

I normally consider myself a crafty person. I scrapbook (okay, I HAVE scrapbooked, though I do not currently have the drive to do so.), I embroider (is that the same thing as cross-stitching? That's what I do, and I've never been clear about what the difference is...), and I do various other crafts, that escape my mind at the moment. Still, with all of my crafty awesomeness, there is one craft that has always eluded me. Crocheting.
Determined that I was going to learn how to crochet once and for all, I begged my college roommate (Hi BeckJune!) to teach me how to crochet. She showed an AMAZING amount of patience with me, and I eventually completed (because I gave up on my scarf) a pretty sad looking green pot holder. I think I still have it, but I digress.
Fast forward a few years. BeckJune and I are now married (NOT to each other), and coincidentally (okay, not coincidentally, we followed them there...) live in the same city, exactly next door to each other.
Are you paying attention? There will be a quiz later! Actually, there won't be, because these details I'm throwing in have little to nothing to do with the story.
Anyway, BeckJune and I are at a church activity one night, performing the service project that included "crocheting leper bandages" to send to places where they have lepers, apparently.
Remember, I said that I suck at crocheting?
So, We're sitting there in a circle, like I imagine they would do in olden days, with quilting bees, and in my mind, I was transported back to the days of peticoats and pantaloons. Figuring that everyone must be feeling such a kinship, I tried to strike up a bit of conversation with the kinfolk. What better topic, than how bad I suck at crocheting.
Bear in mind this was like 7 years ago, so I don't remember how the actual conversation went, but here's the gist...

Me: "Wow! Everyone else is going to much faster than me! You guys all make this look easy. You'll probably get 3 done in the time it takes me to make one."

Crotchety old woman: "You're doing it wrong. Maybe if you were actually holding your needles right, you would have better luck."

Me: "How are you supposed to hold them?"

SILENCE. Not another word was spoken. Just an annoyed look on crotchety old woman's face.
What the heck?! When did the idea of getting an "A for effort" go out the window?!

No longer feeling welcome amongst my comrades, I set my...what could only be described as a leper steri-strip down on my chair, and forfeited my post. Perhaps the ladies over at the actual quilting station would prove to have better senses of humor...

There! I've told you mine, now you tell yours. Head on over to MiMi's and link up with her. I would promise you fame and fortune for doing it, but in reality, all I can promise you is a lot of laughs.

8 comments:

shortmama said...

At least you tried! My craftiness is severely limited!

D said...

Gee,sounds like someone needs some bran muffins or something. Crochety old lady has serious tude.

MiMi said...

Wait a second. Were you crocheting or knitting? If you were knitting you'd have 2 needles...crocheting is only one....
What crotchety old ladies indeed!

Mamarazzi said...

lame. some people are so rude! and um hello...it was an act of service...you are most def not allowed to critisize

Myya said...

You poor thing! I'd have to forfeit too... lets just go with "it's dumb so who wants to do it anyways! :) Boooo to the mean old lady!

Emmy said...

I can't believe they didn't tell you! They were crotchety old women! But seriously, aren't old women supposed to love dispensing their wisdom and advice. I guess if you hadn't asked for it then they might have told you how :)

CJ Sime said...

Grrrrr-Umble!

I hate people like that.

I work with one. She has worked at Panera for 6 years and if I ask her a question she acts like either (A) I am wasting her time or (B) like she doesn't speak English.

I would have thrown the yarn and sticks down and walked out. I hope it wasn't a church group because that is totally unChristian.

beckyjune said...

I love that you still have your potholder :) I miss the days of us living next door to each other, heck even living in the same city because even though we're in the same state (yes, I think you knew we would come to Texas and so you had to come here so you could say we were following you for once)life gets so busy and I MISS you. I would help you fight those crochety old ladies if I was there with you.