Dear Elementary School Receptionist,
Did you recently fall on your head? I mean, seriously. I'm worried about you. Every Wednesday at noon, I stroll into the office. Every Wednesday at noon, you acknowledge me with a knowing glance, and simply ask if I'm there to volunteer. Every Wednesday at noon, I answer in the affirmative. Until, yesterday. Yesterday (Wednesday at noon) I strolled into the office, and you didn't even seem to know who I was. You randomly asked if I was headed to the library, and when I answered with a confused "no", you asked if I was there to eat lunch with my kid. Nope. It was just Wednesday at noon. I was there for the same reason I was ALWAYS there Wednesday at noon. I hope I didn't offfend you when I looked at you like you had lost your mind.
They have CAT scans for a reason...
Dear Impending Storm,
I realize that with all of the melting ice caps, and whatever, that rain is something we greatly need, but if you could hold off until Saturday afternoon, I would greatly appreciate it. It's not that I don't like the rain. I do. I love the sound, and the smell. However, I really don't like the idea of walking my 3 am shift at Relay for Life in soggy shoes. Thank you in advance for your cooperation!
You get athlete's foot thata way...
Since when did R.S.V.P. start to stand for "Responding Seems Very Persnickety"? I don't mean to get all "Emily Post" on you, but when someone sends out 51 invitations, and only receives 15 RSVP's, it begs the question "are they not coming, or did they just forget to RSVP?" leaving said person to prepare for the party as if 30+ "phantom" people are going to crash. Don't get me wrong...I LOVED making 20 more favors than were needed, along with a couple dozen extra cupcakes, but I just feel that my time may have been better spent elsewhere.
No, it was not just a suggestion...
$175 seems like a lot to have to pay for not listening to your wife, doesn't it? Perhaps you should have listened the first time I suggested you get the car inspected. Or, the 3rd time, or the 11th time over the course of 10 months since our sticker expired. But, no. You answered every time with a resounding "eh", and now have to pay for a ticket that Officer Whatshisbucket gave you. As an added treat, we got to take the kids on the little field trip to the courthouse, where I got to explain to the children what barbed wire was for, as we waited out in the scary looking parking lot of the county lock up. Maybe next time you will listen to me. Maybe?
I bet you're glad you saved your $35 now, huh?
In case you couldn't tell, I'm FINALLY linking up with Shortmama again, for her "Dear Someone" letters. If you have a list of grievances, I suggest you do the same!