F-Bomb...Thursday?

MiMi is hosting her meme a little earlier this week, because she is hosting a giveaway tomorrow. And, you know, since I'm super awesome and flexible, I decided to follow her along for the ride. Fair warning though, if you have a weak stomach, you may not want to read any further...

As you all know, or may not know, I do not have enough children at my house already, so on occasion, I feel the need to take in strays. Okay, not strays, just children that belong to friends, who need a place to hang out for a spell.
On Tuesday, my friend, "Baub" had a dr. appointment, so I graciously accepted the call to watch her two kids...let's call them, Pinky and Ralph. Pinky is beyond the nap stage, so while the other kids slept, she followed me around telling me how much better she was than me at cleaning.
When Ralph woke up, he went straight for the bathroom, proving that he knew where it was. I thought his pants looked wet, but not REALLY wet (he has recently been deamed "potty trained"), so I didn't worry too much about it. To make a long story short, I found out through the course of a few minutes that he had pooped his pants. It seemed contained to his underwear, so I got him cleaned up, and changed, all the while the little booger insisted that he had NOT pooped his pants. Okay dude, whatever.
Fast forward to yesterday. Sissy was helping me out by cleaning up the upstairs. I decided to do my duty, and empty the hamper. Holding an armload of foul smelling dirty laundry, I went downstairs to sort it. The last item of clothing in my hands was a pair of shorts that I didn't recognize as anything belonging to my children. As it was occuring to me that they actually belonged to Ralph, I looked inside. EEEWWWW!!! Poo smeared all over inside. Then...thunk!
What the heck just hit my foot?!
I looked down.
A large, almost perfectly round ball of poo.
WHAT THE HECK!!!
On Tuesday, I had written it off as an "accident" a "I couldn't hold it" incident. This was proof that the kid had consciously chosen to take a dump in his underpants, with a bathroom less than 10 feet away. WHAT THE HECK?!
This is precisely why washing machine manufacturers make "sanitary" cycles in the first place.
Shhhh....IT HAPPENS!
Now, go ahead and link up with MiMi. It's the perfect opportunity to tell about things from your past too...

P.S. I feel the need to point out, that I had already washed the offensive underpants, but had no idea what had happened to his pants from that day. Do you remember when I told you about this incident? Well, sometimes there's no hunt involved. Sometimes, it finds you...

Top Of The Muffin To You!

Does anyone else remember that from an old episode of Seinfeld? I swear, with as often as I reference TV and movies, you all probably think I'm a real couch potato, and you would be right. Anyway, in that episode, it makes it out to be that the top of the muffin is the only part worthy of eating. NOBODY wants to eat the stump. The stump, is for all intents and purposes, inedible. Why then, do I long to be the stump? Do you see where I'm going with this?
I'm joining up with Shortmama, and several other fabulously...robust women to finally shred those extra pounds that we claim is "baby weight", but let's face it, you can only blame the baby for so long, before it becomes the donut's fault, or the dollar menu at McDonald's. It's not their fault, it's mine! I've gotten lazy, I've indulged too much, and my waistline and thighs have paid the price.

Boy, does that picture look all too familiar! Of course, I think the thighs are not nearly poochy enough! So, the first assignment, is to come up with 3 things we will commit to change to help us on our journey to have a body we're not ashamed to show at the beach. Not in a swimsuit! Heaven's no! Just one we can be proud to wear some comfy capris and a top, that doesn't leave us looking like the lady pictured above. Here are my 3 things, in no particular order.

1. I will eat breakfast. I've always heard that eating breakfast is one of the most important things you can do to lose weight, but I have never gotten the hang of it. I usually skip it, which I know is a no-no. So, even if it means I have to get up earlier to get ready, so there is time for me to eat breakfast before we enter the radius of lunchtime, I will do it. I will eat breakfast.
2. I will be more active. You may recall, that I set a resolution of sorts to exercise way back when and have done pretty well so far at sticking to it. I work out for 20-30 minutes a day, 4 days a week, using my Wii Active. The problem is, that the weekends become couch potato time, and you know that when you're being lazy, you are more likely to snack. Every Monday morning I get yelled at (not really yelled at, but informed) by the Wii, that I have gained weight since my previous weigh in. I want this to stop! Therefore, I will attempt to be more active on the weekend, whether it be by taking a walk, parking further away at the grocery store, doing yard work, or vigorously cleaning my bathtub. I will be less sit on my butt lazy on the weekend.
3. I will plan/regulate my lunches. I was doing pretty well for a while with eating "Smart Ones' refrigerator meals for lunch, but that got expensive, and quite frankly was not always very appetizing. Not that the food was bad, but the ones that I liked, only filled up 2-3 days a week, so I got bored with them. I would buy whole wheat bread, intending to have sandwiches every day, but that got boring, and I HATE PB&J on whole wheat bread, and I'm a bit of a deli meat snob, so my options were very limited. In the end, I would stare into the fridge for a while, and then settle on Ramen noodles (so not good for you) or leftover candy for my meal. I've decided that if I create a plan for my lunches, purchase what I like (i.e. deli meat from the actual deli, non artificial cheese slices, etc.) and switch it up weekly, then I won't run the risk of getting bored. More likelihood for success! This week, I have "spicy turkey roll ups" which is a flatbread wrap with a teeny amount of mayo (like less than a teaspoon), some turkey, a slice of pepperjack cheese, and lettuce all rolled up. The spicey cheese gives it a zing that's not boring, and it serves as a motivator to drink my water. It's more than enough to fill me up when paired with some multigrain chips, and a string cheese. I will also add fruit to my plate normally, but my kids are absolute pigs when it comes to fresh fruit, so we were all out.

I would like to say that I can give up soda, but since I don't drink coffee or alcohol, my "drug" of choice is a "large caffeinated beverage" when I've had a hard day. I will cut back, but I cannot promise to cut it out completely.

Sound like something you need to do too? Head on over to ShortMama's, and link up to the motivation train...WOOT WOO!!

Houston, We DON'T Have a Problem...

I have a post all typed up and ready to go to link up with Myya today, but so far, she hasn't set it up, so here's a little somethin' to help catch you up on my week last week...

Remember when I told you that I had an appointment of NASA-esque proportions? Well, I think I may have built up your hopes for it's excitement by saying that. You see, I simply had an appointment that cleared me for takeoff. Takeoff from the platform of a roller coaster, that is!
Ya'll remember that I'm a freak of nature right? If not, you can read all about it by clicking here or here. Well, because I am so full of awesomeness, I get to go see my cardiologist every 6 months. Really, guys, don't let the green eyed monster take over, some people are just blessed...deal with it!
So, Tuesday was my latest appointment. I always underestimate how long my echocardiograms are going to take, so that took longer than I anticipated (of course) and then I saw my doctor.
By the way, if you are ever in the DFW area, and need a cardiologist, you can't go wrong with the clinical heart center of UTSouthwestern. Them's my peeps!
Anywho...
I had prepared a list of questions (by list, I mean 1) to ask, that I felt was a very important one. Have you ever done that? Come up with a question, think you know the answer, and you figure it's this big life and death kind of deal, to find out that it's actually not a big deal at all?
My question? Would I be able to ride roller coasters.
Why is this question so important?
Well, because as I mentioned before, we recently purchased season passes to 6 flags over Texas. The plan was, that every once in a while, we would go without the kids, and ride all the "big" rides. I don't know if you've noticed, but there are always big honkin' signs at the start of the line that say not to ride if you have a heart condition. Previously, I always ignored those signs. After all, I don't have heart DISEASE, so I should be good. Well, the last time I rode a roller coaster was shortly after Bubble was born. While I was pregnant with Boo, I started having severe arrythmias, that put me on "old man heart pills" as I lovingly refer to them. So, I figured that riding roller coasters would be out of the question for me now.
My doctor's response when I posed the question?
"Are you gonna throw up?"
No
"Then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't ride them, just make sure to take your meds before you go."
So, there you go. I made a big deal out of nothing.
I'm hoping I can convince Lady and her husband to go with us one day, or another couple, so I'm not the only one screaming like a girl.

Think, Before You Speak.

Well, it's Monday, and as you know, that means it's time for Myya's "stick your foot in your mouth, Monday" over at Myya Says. Since my life is like a scrapbook of what NOT to say, I figure this is a great Meme for me to link up with regularly.



Do you ever wish your life had a Tivo? Like, you could pause the screen, look around, and edit your comments accordingly? If they ever did come up with something like that, they would make bank, that is for sure.

First, a little back story...

Roon served a mission for our church for 2 years in the Dominican Republic. When the locals would see his name tag, they would say "Carter! Como- Jimmy Carter!" and then they would laugh. Yes, the name Carter was not nearly as common there as it is here, so they were fascinated that they knew any other person with such a last name.

From the time Roon and I got married, he had been joking about names for our children that would copy real life high profile people. For example: James (Jimmy), Vincent, and Kijana. Yeah, I never took him seriously.

When I was pregnant with Bug, Roon and I went with some other older couples in our ward out to dinner, that would also serve as a leadership meeting for church. (Roon was a secretary of sorts to the bishopric, so he had to attend these meetings also). We were by far, the youngest people along for the ride. The subject of my pregnancy came up, and it was a major topic, since we had opted not to find out the sex of the baby. They were asking how we were picking a name, if we didn't know what it was. I said that we had picked names for both a boy and a girl, so it was covered. Since we had also decided we were not going to tell either of the names until the baby was born, when they asked, I opted to distract them with the story of Cameron making fake suggestions.

It was then, that I embarrassed myself by saying this...

"One of Roon's suggestions is James. He thinks it would be funny to have a Jimmy Carter. It would be cool if I were a fan of his in general, but since I don't particularly care for the name James, I vetoed it."

Not too bad, right? WRONG! As soon as the words escaped my lips, it occurred to me who was sitting at my immediate left...

Brother JAMES So-and-so.

My only hope was that he hadn't heard what I had said, since he was like a hundred years old.

Moral of the story? Before you speak, you should just take a glance around and edit your comments accordingly. Of course, if I did that, I would have much less to blog about...

Now, head on over to Myya's, read other tales of toes on the tongue, and link up with her. I can't be the only one with stories such as these, right?

F-Bomb Friday.

This "F-Bomb Friday" moment is brought to you by crotchety old women...

I normally consider myself a crafty person. I scrapbook (okay, I HAVE scrapbooked, though I do not currently have the drive to do so.), I embroider (is that the same thing as cross-stitching? That's what I do, and I've never been clear about what the difference is...), and I do various other crafts, that escape my mind at the moment. Still, with all of my crafty awesomeness, there is one craft that has always eluded me. Crocheting.
Determined that I was going to learn how to crochet once and for all, I begged my college roommate (Hi BeckJune!) to teach me how to crochet. She showed an AMAZING amount of patience with me, and I eventually completed (because I gave up on my scarf) a pretty sad looking green pot holder. I think I still have it, but I digress.
Fast forward a few years. BeckJune and I are now married (NOT to each other), and coincidentally (okay, not coincidentally, we followed them there...) live in the same city, exactly next door to each other.
Are you paying attention? There will be a quiz later! Actually, there won't be, because these details I'm throwing in have little to nothing to do with the story.
Anyway, BeckJune and I are at a church activity one night, performing the service project that included "crocheting leper bandages" to send to places where they have lepers, apparently.
Remember, I said that I suck at crocheting?
So, We're sitting there in a circle, like I imagine they would do in olden days, with quilting bees, and in my mind, I was transported back to the days of peticoats and pantaloons. Figuring that everyone must be feeling such a kinship, I tried to strike up a bit of conversation with the kinfolk. What better topic, than how bad I suck at crocheting.
Bear in mind this was like 7 years ago, so I don't remember how the actual conversation went, but here's the gist...

Me: "Wow! Everyone else is going to much faster than me! You guys all make this look easy. You'll probably get 3 done in the time it takes me to make one."

Crotchety old woman: "You're doing it wrong. Maybe if you were actually holding your needles right, you would have better luck."

Me: "How are you supposed to hold them?"

SILENCE. Not another word was spoken. Just an annoyed look on crotchety old woman's face.
What the heck?! When did the idea of getting an "A for effort" go out the window?!

No longer feeling welcome amongst my comrades, I set my...what could only be described as a leper steri-strip down on my chair, and forfeited my post. Perhaps the ladies over at the actual quilting station would prove to have better senses of humor...

There! I've told you mine, now you tell yours. Head on over to MiMi's and link up with her. I would promise you fame and fortune for doing it, but in reality, all I can promise you is a lot of laughs.

A Thousand Words Couldn't Explain...

I've heard that a picture is worth a thousand words. However, this picture is failing to offer, through all the volumes it is speaking, an explanation. And since my suspects are all blaming the elusive "Not Me" or "I Don't Know", I can only assume (you know what they say about that!) that the washing machine knows something I don't about stain removal...

I'm just glad that I saw this BEFORE I started loading the clothes.

And, no, it was NOT empty, but it WAS open...

Remember Me?

I know I had better have a good explanation to why I've been MIA for the last couple of days, but I don't have one. I have several. All of my reasons are blogworthy, but in an effort to not make this post a mile long (you're welcome) I will sum up, what I've been up to, and hopefully expand on each of them in the next few days. Sound good?

1. I got my very first award on Monday! Of course, I've been too busy to blog about it yet, (and I would hate to fail with rule following with my very first award) so for now, I will just say, "THANK YOU JENNIFER!" and promise to post it really soon.


2. I had an appointment on Tuesday, of NASA-esque proportions. Are you on the edge of your seat yet?


3. I FINALLY finished getting the prize package together for Heather, the winner of my very first Quince Quote, but in all my airheaded glory, I forgot to take a picture of it before I sent it merrily on it's way to her house. So, here's hopin' that she will take a picture, so I can link back to it, eventually.


4. I am in the process of finishing a top secret project, that I will post about by the end of this month (hopefully).


5. Roon and I took serious steps towards getting the HOA off our backs.


6. My kid(s) helped with the laundry.


7. I am getting so psyched about my Spring Swap package for Mamarazzi! I've been seriously gathering things this week, and I'm pleased with how it's coming along. On the same note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMARAZZI!!! Her birthday is today...and that's no 'foolin'.

So, yeah, that's a sampling of the things I have been up to the last few days. Understand why blogging fell off the list? If not, please take this opportunity to imagine me down on my knees, groveling at your feet, and begging for your forgiveness. Beyond that, not real sure what I can do for ya.

In other news: It's birthday month! I just LOVE birthday month! I can pretty much get away with anything during the month of April. The year Bug was born (his birthday is one week after mine) Roon got me a Kitchenaid stand mixer, because he felt so guilty that I was going to have to add "childbirth" to my list of fun birthday month activities. My gift this year, is a new blog design. I have selected my designer, and have begun communications with her, but because of her overwhelming popularity, it will probably be the middle of June before you see the changes here. But, have no fear, it will be AWESOME. My other birthday gift this year, is really a gift for Roon as well. You see, we are going on a date the Saturday before my birthday, and it is a very special outing, to say the least. Any guesses what it might be?

Photo courtesy of Google search...

BON JOVI BABY!!! They've been Roon's favorite band since, well since WAY before I met him, so this is a real treat. The concert is on April 10th, so 9 days and counting...

Sorry most of this post is cryptic. I'll get to filling you guys in ASAP. Remember, patience is a virtue...