Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Ready for awesomeness that is beyond all awesomeness you have experienced up until now?!  Well...you may be disappointed.  To me, it's awesome, but you weren't there.  The inside jokes that came to fruition on this trip cannot be described in words, but you can possibly appreciate a taste of some of them when you look at the following pictures.  
I would like to send out a huge THANK YOU to "Skip", my sister Boog's husband, for hooking me up with the pictures.  This post would be lame with a side of boring without them.

This post will be extremely long.  Not that that's a bad thing, but I just want you to consider yourself warned.

I flew into Las Vegas late Thursday night.  Did you know that you have to take a TRAM to get to baggage claim there?!  Well, you do now.  
Friday afternoon, Boogs and I packed our bags and headed out towards our hotel, but first stopped off to do some outlet shopping.  Roon had told me to "go nuts", which I'm sure he regrets now.  I got a cute outfit, awesome shoes, and other assorted items, but the HIGHLIGHT of the afternoon was when we decided to shop for sunglasses. 

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...

(Oh, and in hindsight, I maybe should have cropped out the woman with the makeshift empathy belly in the background.  I guess she wasn't nearly the focus of my attention that she should have been...)

After successfully wearing out our debit cards, we went to our HOTEL to check in and get glamified for our girls night out. 

It is here that I must mention what I novice I am when it comes to hair and make up.  Yes, I do wear it, but my "natural" look was not going to cut it with Boogs, as she declared that if I wanted to be HER date, I had to look hot.  So, she proceeded to attack me with liquid eyeliner, and a flat iron, until I was adequately stunning.

Personally, I don't see why we needed the makeup, since we had already been hit on, and Boogs all but propositioned in the elevator up from the parking garage.  However, if I didn't look so hot, maybe the highlight story of the trip wouldn't have happened later...
Don't worry, it's coming.  Patience is a virtue, ya'll!

Super cute outfit, right?!  We're telling Roon that it cost practically nothing.  And, compared to the "regular" price, the "outlet" price was a steal ...but I'm still not proud of it.

Yup.  She makes me gag too.  She's had 3 babies, dudes.  3.  Disgusting.

 

Our room was nice, but not so nice that I could be distracted from my phone.  It's my lifeline, after all.

Our bathroom was nice too, but for all we know the shower and tub didn't even work.  It's sad, really. 

One of the most awesome features of our room was a real, honest to goodness, DOORBELL!!!  This was far more impressive than it should have been, for two women in our late 20's, but awesome is awesome. 

We also were ecstatic to find out we had a BALCONY!  Of course, our balcony really served more as a moat than anything else, as recent rainfall had left an awesome 2 inches of water on ours.  One of us may have discovered the water the hard way.  Thank goodness that someone was not wearing her new shoes at the time. 
I forgot to tell one of the best stories! 
After Boogs and I were hit on/flirted with in the elevator/casino, we were escorted to the registration desk by the cutest little Cuban man.  As we walked, he made pleasant conversation with us in his broken English, and was super friendly.  He asked if Boogs and I were related.  We said that we were sisters.  Then he tried to guess our ages, and cemented a spot in my book of favorite people of ALL TIME. 
Indicating Boogs and then myself, he posed the question:  "You 19, no?  Y, you...22?"
When we revealed our real ages of 27 and 29, the look of complete shock on his face made me want to kiss him.  But I didn't. 
Our "girls night out" ended up being somewhat of a bust, in that none of the other girls showed up, and ended with us getting some disappointing room service, and fighting the urge to fall asleep as we watched "The Switch" on Pay Per View. 
But Saturday was SPA DAY! 
I saw more random people's boobies, and choices of thongs that day than ever before in my life. 
Boogs and I had a package called the "Couple's getaway", or something like that.  It began with a 50 minute couple's Swedish massage, that left me so relaxed that I was making this face...

For at least a half an hour after it was over. 

Try to contain your jealousy.  It takes HOURS to look that unbelievably gorgeous. 

Roughly 6, on a semi comfortable hotel bed.

The final treatment on our schedule was a royal pedicure.  Here is our before shot...

I think I'm going to look into buying a pair of those rubber shoes for myself for Christmas.  Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like squeaking when you walk!

Boogs felt bad after I complained about my drugged out picture of me from above.  Here is her doing her best "relaxed face".  Close, but no cigar, Boogs.

Our pedicures consisted of having our feet rubbed with various baking items, namely brown sugar and pumpkin pie filling.  It did a chubby girl good. 
It was when they put our feet in "paraffin booties" that Boogs and I felt the need to capture the awesomeness on film. 

It just doesn't get much sexier than that, folks!

While we were getting our pedicures, it became clear that there was a wedding going on outside.  Even though we had never heard of the band, Stryper, we were caught in the wave of excitement from everyone around us, and we just had to step outside and watch for a few minutes and snap a picture.

Every bride's dream come true.  To have two random strangers in bathrobes watching your nuptials from the sidelines.  You're welcome, random couple being married at the Green Valley Ranch Resort!

After pedicures, Boogs and I went to get cleaned up, and ready for the rest of our day.  This included guarding the shower door for each other, and risking our lives multiple times while wearing the post pedicure disposable flip flops. 

Oh, and we mustn't forget this...

This machine is da BOMB!  It is apparently a miracle machine, that will rid your body of toxins.  Personally, I think it accomplishes this by making you pee your pants as it shakes you 10 ways to Sunday over the course of 10 minutes. 
Apparently, it burns calories as well.  150 to be exact.  Boogs is extremely skeptical as to the validity of the Turbosonic's claims, but I believe every word of it.  I think I may add this to my Christmas list as well.  It may be just the thing to get my post 4 baby bladder back in shape. 

Don't our feet look pretty?!  If you make the mistake of enlarging the picture, let me just say that MY foot is on the left.  Aren't Boog's feet NASTY?!?!?!  I just don't know what I'm going to do with that girl...

And here we are all ready to leave the spa. 

Thanks for having us! 

For posterity's sake, I'm going to include a tip for future guests of the resort/spa.  The gate to the spa opens OUT.  There is no sign that says PULL, but I would suggest trying to PUSH and PULL BEFORE you solicit

 the help of a security guard.  It may save you a bit of embarrassment in the long run...

Now, if any of you are still reading this, I will reward you with my most awesome story of the weekend...

Boogs and I were just getting back to the hotel after our "girls night out", and were headed back to our room.  Now, I don't know how many of you can relate, but most hotels in Vegas are laid out to be super tricky to find your way around.  More times than I can count, I mentioned to Boogs that it felt like we were Alice stuck in the Looking Glass. 

We got pretty good at finding our way around, and successfully found the door leading to our "wing" without requiring assistance.  The door required a room key to enter.  As I'm reaching in my pocket, and Boogs is digging in her purse, we hear a voice behind us. 

"I can get that for you."

Raised to be independent women, we continued to search for our keys.  I found mine first, and inserted it into the slot, as our "knight in shining armor" reached our sides. 

The red light flashed.  No entrance.

Again, our knights said he could get it.

Boogs located her key, and slid it into the slot, while our knight violated both our personal bubbles, he was standing so close.  As Boogs was inserting the key, she said "I promise we're not weirdos.  We really are staying here." or something to that effect. 

As the green light flashed, allowing us entrance into our wing, I made some comment about me being incompetent.

It was then that IT happened.  

Our knight reached his arm around me, like he was trying to give me a one armed hug, and squeezed my neck where it met up with my shoulder.  He then said something completely eloquent, about us not being weird.  When we continued down the hallway towards our room, instead of heading towards the elevator, he made an excited observation about us being on the same floor as him.  

"No way!  You're on this floor too?!"

Is was decided before we reached our room that our guy was drunk, and we walked just a little faster than necessary to distance ourselves.  

Probably overreacted, but at that point, I could no longer trust my underestimated view of my foxiness.  It just wouldn't be fair to all those single fellas...