Thursday, September 30, 2010

You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else...

MY kids are perfect.  MY kids are well behaved, never fight, and are nothing but sunshine and rainbows.  ROON'S chilren on the other hand...well, they're a different story.  That is precisely why I'm linking up with my stupendous friend, Evelyn, for her "That's not my kid, Thursday".

To begin my story, I must go back in time a little bit.  First, to explain, Bubble has always been my least visual child.  I often wondered about his vision (until we had it checked), because he always seemed to rely on his other 4 senses more than my other kids would.  If I made dinner, he would ask what we were having.  He would then proceed to stick his nose in it to confirm that it was, in fact, lasagna.  Smell is not the only other sense he uses to confirm visual cues, and I often worry about the health of his future self as a result. 
Now jump in my time machine, as we go back in time....
The year was 2007.  Bubble was 3, I was about 3 months pregnant with Boo, and my brother had recently been married to his lovely wife.  We had flown from Texas to Salt Lake City to attend the festivities, and were on our way home.  While waiting at the DFW airport for the shuttle that would take us to our car parked in long term parking, I was not feeling well.  Roon was wrestling with luggage, and I was doing my best to keep an eye on the 3 weary travelers we had accompanying us.  Sissy: Check.  Bug:  In the stroller, check.  Bubble:  OH GROSS!!!  As my eyes settled on Bubble, I was mortified to see that bubble was using alternate senses to confirm that he was in the presence of a cement pole.  The sense of taste.  To this day, I have no idea what possessed him to lick the pole, and I think I would rather it remain a secret known only to him.  I shudder to think that the reason he would do it was because there was gum on it.  Eeeewww!  Perhaps someone double dog dared him?
Fast forward to present day.  I had just finished my "shift" of volunteering at the elementary school where my kids attend.  On these days, I meet my kids, and Baub's kids, and walk to Baub's house to pick up my other kids.  With the new school year, all the necessary teachers were not aware of this arrangement.  I went to meet them, only to find out the Pinkie and the Brain (Baub's kids)  had been released to walk home already.  I was then informed that all the first graders (Bubble) had also been released to walk home as well.  Sissy and I made a mad dash for Baub's house.  We had to get there, grab the other kids, and make it back home before Bubble got to our house.  I reached Baub's house sweaty, winded, and more than a little annoyed that the teachers would send him home when they knew I was at the school. 
Just as I was chugging a glass of water, and Baub was frantically trying to gather everyone, my cell phone rang.  It was Bubble's teacher.  She had Bubble in her classroom, and had actually tried to page me over the loudspeaker to come and speak with her. 
Uh-Oh.  That doesn't sound good.
"I actually wanted to have a meeting with you about Bubble's behavior specifically relating to afternoon dismissal.  He has made some bad choices, and I thought you should be aware of them."
At this point, I'm thinking "please don't let this be something completely humiliating" and I responded with an "Oh no.  What happened?"
"Well, he had problems last week with keeping his hands to himself.  Yesterday he kicked someone (which I later found out was completely benign, in that Bubble was trying to adjust his sitting position, and accidentally kicked the child in front of him), and today...he kissed a girl without her permission.
"Kissed her?" I asked.
"Well, what he says happened was that 'M' had a crumb on her lip, and Bubble licked it to get it off."
Of course he did. 
The only saving grace I had was that this exchange happened over the phone, so his teacher couldn't see me as I turned 3 different shades of red. 
If she didn't already know she was talking to the right person, I would have been very tempted to tell her she had the wrong number. 
Hello, my name is Sami and I have a son that licks things. 
I pray this is just a phase.

What have "other people's" kids done to mortify you lately?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Prefer to Think of it as Fashionably Late

Yesterday was actually the day I was supposed to link up with Emmy for her "10 things to smile about", but I had to announce the finalists, so I'm late.  Perhaps I will throw in an 11th thing to make up for it?  We'll see...

Finding out the Sissy is well above her grade level in Reading, and "catches on quickly" to every subject.  I think she got that from me...or Roon.  It's definitely one of the two!
I have really learned a lot about sports since I got married.  Why?  Because it makes Roon happy.  Plus, it makes me happy to see Bubble and Bug get into the excitement, even if it only lasts about 5 minutes into the first quarter. 
The return of our favorite shows!  Roon and I spent all summer watching Doogie Howser M.D. on DVD so it's a little odd to see him again as "Barney", but it still makes me smile.  Yes, I realize it's pathetic that fictitious people made my list.  Let's move on...
I recently contacted a custom illustrator to help give my vinyl website a bit of a facelift.  HE WAS AMAZING!  Very professional, fairly priced, and it only took him about a week to take something I had dreamed up in my head, and make it a reality.  This is only a fraction of the overall picture, but it turned out PERFECT.  If you need a custom illustration, please contact him.  Every time I look at it...I smile.

Yet another successful swap!  Most of my goodies are gone, but the new friend I made, is most certainly NOT gone.  New friends always make me smile...

The overwhelming support I had in making my new party a success makes me grin from ear to ear.  I hope the enthusiasm continues for many months to come.  Speaking of which...have you voted yet?  Do it NOW.  You can even vote for more than one person.  Check out the projects.  They're awesome.

When Roon was in Florida for a week, he found these shirts, and bought them to serve as souveniers for the kids.  Truth be told, they were more for me.  I laugh every time I see them!

Not being forgotten when my mom went to Forks (again) without me.  We may be on different teams as far as Twilight goes, but she'll still shell out money on Jacob paraphernalia because she knows it will make me smile.  And it did.  It really did!
These guys moved closer to me!  Still not CLOSE...they live about 6 hours away, but it's a heck of a lot better than before!  I love my nephews!
A completely amazing and out of the blue package arrived at my door from an incredible friend.  It was a "thank you" for something I did...but I think I got the better end of the deal.  I'm STILL smiling, and I opened it like 4 hours ago.  I know many of you won't get the reference, but she's like the Wally Kessler to my Harold Green. 

What 10 things do YOU have to smile about this month?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Because I've Never Been Any Good at Making Decisions...

Today is the day! 
You all are so awesome!  The Tootsie Roll challenge was all I could have hoped for, and so much more.
We had entries from all over the creative spectrum.
We had an adorable paper craft, and a very green repurposing project.
We had delectable brownies, and WAY too cute to eat suckers.
We had TWO videos!  One, a classic, and the other...NOT so classic (but completely hilarious!)
To top it off, we had one project that looked eerily familiar, but 100 times better!

How do you narrow down the awesomeness? 
If you're me, you don't.
I said in the beginning that I would narrow the choices down to 2-7, depending on how many people entered.  Well, there were 7 entries, and I love all the projects so much, that I can't possibly choose, if I don't have to.  So YOU ALL MADE IT TO THE VOTING ROUND!!!
Send your friends on over to vote.  Poll will be open until September 30, 11:59 pm central time.  Winner will be announced on October 1st, along with October's candy assignment.  Congratulation, and happy voting!

I have set it up to allow each person multiple votes, so please instruct your friends to visit each and every entrant's blog to see what THEY did.  I will add my votes at some point during the voting...when it's not so obvious that it's me.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Why Would I Gamble? I Already Won the Jackpot!

I have been such a slacker with my Happy lists lately, but my list is so long this week, that I think it would be very selfish for me to keep it all to myself.  So, without further ado...

MY BATHROOM IS ALMOST DONE!!!  All that's left to do is hang the mirror and some shelves, so I anticipate being able to post before and after shots by the middle part of next week.  I can't wait!

Holding a sleeping baby, that doesn't belong to me.  Don't get me wrong...I LOVED holding my own babies when they were sleeping, but I don't have any anymore.  Boo is beyond the "rock me to sleep" stage, so in order to do it...I have to borrow them.  This, is "Spike", my friend, Baub's son (known as Booger Head over on her blog).  I get to babysit him about 4 hours a week, and it gives me great joy that I haven't lost the magic touch with a 4 month old.  Oh yeah...I rock!

On Friday night, we had a small gathering of friends come over for brisket and games.  The presence of 14 kids did not deter us from playing "Fact or Crap".  That is, until a toddler walked past us yelling "CWAP!"...
The evening was a success, and Roon has approved my idea to host them monthly.  Good friends and good food ALWAYS make my happy list!

Yesterday we used some free guest passes to take Baub and her family with us to Six Flags.  The kids had so much fun!  There were 8 kids between us, and the looks we got as people tried to figure out our family dynamic were priceless!  In addition, Bug was finally big enough to ride a "big" roller coaster.  3 down...1 to go!

The next few items on my list cannot be mentioned without mentioning my Roon.  HE is making all the rest of the items on my happy list possible.  I love him and appreciate him for all he does for me, without hesitation.  I really hit the jackpot when I sat next to him!

I get an entire weekend out with other women, to renew my spirit.  I just got my tickets, and cannot wait to atttend, and learn ways to  be a better wife and mother.  Just thinking about it makes me happy!

A few months ago, I mentioned the deal Roon made with me.  If I held down the fort while he was out of town on business, I could have a spa weekend with my sister.  Less than a month from now...

What's on YOUR Happy List???

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Chocolate-y Chew Meets Sir Isaac Newton

Symfully Sweet Saturday
Are ya'll ready to get Symful?! 
I had so much fun working on this month's Symfully Sweet assignment, and hope you did too! 
I'll just dive right in, because I know that you're all just itching to link up.  Right?
What's the first thing I thought of, when I thought about a Tootsie Roll?
Lincoln Logs, of course!
And what better way to play with Lincoln Logs, than to make log cabins...DUH!
It all started out great!
Sissy and Bubble concentrated really hard, watching me every step of the way.
Bug and Boo took a more laid back approach.

Sissy was not lacking in pride, as she exclaimed that her log cabin was going to be the best, and that she was the most talented of the lot of us. 
Bubble was a little more conservative in his self promotion.

Bug continued to build...whatever this was.

As did Boo.

And me, well, I learned that after about row 5, Sir Isaac Newton and his stupid laws become quite a pain in the behind.  Either that, or that corn syrup did not replace mortar as well as I thought it would.  I'll go ahead and blame gravity, though, because it makes me feel less like a failure...

I was able to right the situation for a minute, and then the Earth shifted.  I hope the future sour patch kid residents weren't watching as the earthquake took away all they held dear!

Roon had much better luck, after he took over construction for Bug.

Bubble tried to salvage his with toothpicks, but his efforts proved to be futile.

Sissy patted herself on the back after row 3, declared herself a creative genius, and claimed that a log cabin doesn't really need a roof.  Hmmm...I see some excellent fence building in her future!

Bug seemed happy with his end result (well, technically, the picture above was his END result), of course that COULD have been the sugar consumption too!

Boo was very proud of her "rock".  And, yes, she was covered head to toe in corn syrup.  It, in the words of Boo herself, was "awshum"!

And me, well I'm filing an insurance claim with the Tootsie Roll construction company to try to recoop my losses...

Oh well, I can't win 'em all, but YOU CAN!  What did YOU do with the original Chocolate-y chew?  Grab my button and link up your projects.  I'll leave Mr. Linky open for 3 days, and then I will narrow it down for a vote.  I can't wait to see what everyone did!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Speaking Hypothetically

Before I get into my post, I just want to direct your attention to the top of my right sidebar.  Do you see it?  I have a button!  Well, I don't have a button, but my blog party does!  Roon made it for me last night, because my "real" one is not set to be done until AT LEAST October 1st but I'm not holding my breath, and I can't start my party without a button.  I just can't.  So, if you're planning to link up TOMORROW (WOO HOO!!!) grab my button and add it to your post.  Notice the tagline?  An anonymous birdie texted it to me a few days ago, and swore me to secrecy.  So, I will take the blame credit for it.  If you have no idea what "Symfully Sweet Saturday" HERE and then HERE to read all about my cockamemy idea.  Join in.  It'll be fun!
Moving on...

I would like to tell you a story today about my "friend", Tami, and her husband Loon.  Tami and Loon are both college educated, and are of average or above average intelligence, and THEY are the characters in the following story.
Tami and Loon have recently been doing some home renovations.  For the purpose of the story, we'll say they are renovating...a bathroom.
As it turns out, Tami has expensive taste.  One item may have even required a custom order, and shelling out BIG bucks.  Hypothetically, we'll say it was their sink.
When "the sink" arrived, it was beautiful.  Everything Tami had dreamed it would be.  Loon, being the eager to please husband that he is, decided to test the fit of the sink on the vanity, to make sure it was to Tami's liking. 
It was not.
An hour of theorizing what went wrong, and a quick call to Home Depot later, it was determined that a replacement sink would have to be ordered. 
So, Tami and Loon waited.  They waited about 4 days until they could make it to Home Depot when there would be a custom order associate available.
The transaction to return the flawed sink went off without a hitch, and Tami and Loon headed back to the custom order desk with their 4 unruly children to place another order.
45 minutes of explaining their plight, and a call to the manufacturer later, it was determined that if they re ordered a sink with the same dimensions, it would be delivered exactly the same. 
A helpful "Mr. Fix-It" type associate joined in the party, and gave instructions to Loon on how to correct the problem of stability, whilest using the same sink.
To demonstrate further, the flawed sink was carried over to a vanity identical to the one that was currently residing in Tami and Loon's unfinished bathroom. 
Much to Loon's chagrin, as soon as the sink was placed atop the vanity, there was not a flaw to be seen.  It fit perfectly (albeit different from how Loon imagined it SHOULD fit) and there were absolutely not issues with stability. 
The sink was re-packaged, and taken back up to the service desk, where is was promptly re-purchased, and Tami, Loon, and their offspring walked out the door with their tails between their legs.  The employees most likely had a good laugh at their expense once they were out of earshot. 

Hypothetically speaking...

It is possible that the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and constructionally retarded, and that it's not so much hypothetical at all, and is instead the reason I'm linking up with MiMi today for her F Bomb Friday.  Possibly.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Guilt By Association


Friends, I am not even going to pretend that I had the least little bit of patience when my package arrived from the Seriously awesome Shawn
My impatience has gotten steadily worse with each swap I've participated in.  I imagine the next swap will probably involve tackling the mail carrier, and facing involuntary battery charges.  <---Totally just made that up.  I don't even think there is such a thing!  If there is, I plan to plead not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.
When I got home from the library today, my package was on my porch.  Bug carried it in, and after he and Boo were securely tucked in for naps, I set to open it...
Everything was wrapped in tissue paper, and tied with ACTUAL RIBBON.  It's possible that I am saving this, because I never have non curling ribbon in the house.  What can I say?  I'm working on my recyclin merit badge!

Each package had a little note explaining each item.  I tried to take pictures of each item, AND note, but some are blurry, so I'll try to summarize her note, just in case you can't see through my photographic genius.
Bath and Body Works "Japanese Cherry Blossom" shower gel and lotion!  I LOVE B&BW products, and this is a scent I haven't tried before.  Smells SO good! 
Peanut butter and honey.  I've never actually had a peanut butter and honey sandwich, but it is apparently part of Shawn's nighttime routine to have half of a peanut butter and honey sandwich.  I'll have to give it a try, and if I like it, I can GUARANTEE it wouldn't be just half a sandwich, and I also guarantee, that it wouldn't always wait until bedtime.  Sounds like a splendid breakfast to me!
Nutella!  Now, I almost bought some of this a couple weeks ago, and decided against it because my kids would probably eat it all.  I may have been so excited about this, that I opened it on the spot, and licked the residue off the protective foil wrapper...but I'll never tell!  Definitely something I'm going to keep on a high shelf.  "No kids, you don't want's DISGUSTING.  I'm sure you'd hate it..." er somethin.

Halloween plates and napkins.  My kids will be pretty excited about this, because I never keep decorative plates or napkins in the house, unless they say "Happy Birthday" on them.  These will be all the rage, I'm sure!

Sexy underwear!  I must admit to everyone (except my mother, that is!) that I have a special stash of items such as this to surprise Roon with.  I'm sure Roon thanks you, Shawn, for the added variety!  You're welcome for the lack of a modeling shot, by the way...

It made it here unscathed, Shawn!!!  I'm excited to try this Honey Wheat bread, because I have recently embraced the whole grain phenomenon.  The note is still stuck to the protective cardboard, and I couldn't get the tape off without ruining the note, so it says:
"Fresh honey wheat bread.  Now I know the chances that this actually made it to you not smashed is pretty low, but I still wanted to include it.  Paired with the peanut butter, honey, or Nuttella it can't be beat.  Aren't you glad I chose not to send you a gallon of milk too?!"
That I am, Shawn, that I am.  Pretty sure it wouldn't have smelled quite right after a trip from Florida to Texas!

She remembered my kids!!!  Each of them had their own package, WITH their names on them.  They were SO excited.  You may notice that the pic of the tag did not include what was in them.  That's because they disappeared immediately, with no time to pause for a picture.  They can't wait for Halloween now, to use their "blinky things".
Here's one final shot of my haul (Minus the kids' gifts, of course!  I'll probably have to pry them fom their sleeping hands tonight...) and Bug.  He's such a ham...

Thanks so much, Shawn, for being an awesome swap partner!  I loved my goodies, and will enjoy using  all them (some of them in private). 
A BIG thank you to Mamarazzi for hosting another amazing swap, and for setting me up with another friend for life!  You rock!